Why do men have nipples summary

Then there are all the pages wasted on things the authors admit they have no answers for, like - What would really happen if a Junior Mint fell inside someone during surgery, as in the infamous Seinfeld episode?

They don't know. All in all, this was a very frustrating read. I would have much preferred boring, straightforward scientific responses instead of the lame attempts at humor found in this book. Take Dr. Melki's advice - If you want to know the answer to an embarrassing medical question. Just remember to delete your browsing history. Mariah Roze. This book is full of weird questions and myths.

The author is a doctor who explains why some things happen and why some things are myths. The book is a good sense of humor. However, I listened to this on audiobook and it was read by the author and he was monotoned the whole time.

I really struggled through this book. You know, this book is funny. Leyner is writing it. Therefore it is funny.

It is really a 3 star book. But I'm punishing it with one star. Leyner is a modern genius. Tetherballs at Bougainville is a masterpiece. My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist is also a masterpiece. Seven long years of silence. But market forces or focus groups or the Devil himself or Americans with hunger for medical trivia have responsibility for this book where a far better book should be instead.

As far as I'm concerned, this kind of coffee table dogshit is keeping one of the best writers in the world from writing work of substance. I really would. But I will not buy it. The thirst for this kind of shit and the Svengali Billy Goldberg MD are collectively inhibiting one of the best writers in America. And I cannot be party to that. If you want to read it--if you really must read it--I will give you my copy. Or check it out from the library and snicker at it like a 4th grader looking up profanities in Merriam-Webster.

But God help you if you buy this book! If you do, you are potentiating stupidity, inhibiting genius, and hurting America. Nice work, asshole. Author 14 books 86 followers. Did I miss something here? I read the whole book okay, ALMOST the whole book -- I admit I skipped over the nonsensical instant messaging transcipts that seem to make up the bulk of the text, as well as the silly chapter intros and I wasn't floored.

Or even wowed. Or even that impressed. There's nothing in this book that you can't find out on your own with an Internet hookup and a brain cell or two to rub together. Most of it is rehashed medical journal articles, and the rest is puffery. And a lot of it was ridiculous! Any mom can tell you that YES, sugar makes kids act up -- even if it isn't scientifically "proven.

Remember, doctors are trained professionals. Also, do not attempt to answer these questions yourself unless you are a mother. Mother always knows best. If you say that you are a doctor, the barrage begins. You would think that after twelve years of rigorous training and sleepless nights, doctors would have all the answers. But no! Not so. This book is an attempt to rectify this unfortunate situation.

Inside these pages we will begin to answer some of the medical questions that real people ask. They only seem to find the courage to ask these questions after their third martini. This is a long dark tale, a quixotic quest. A journey of two friends attempting to accomplish a nearly impossible task. We are an unlikely pair. I am a New York City emergency room doctor and Mark is a successful novelist and screenwriter.

Not exactly the perfect literary match, but, our paths crossed and the rest is history. It began one frigid, blustery night in a busy New York City emergency room. I had been thinking about doing this book for many years. I had compiled questions and pondered answers but was never able to fully steel myself for such a perilous exploration and actually write any of them down.

I had just been hired as a medical adviser on the ABC medical drama Wonderland. This short-lived show was a realistic drama based on the daily lives in a psychiatric emergency room and a prison psychiatric ward.

It was my job to bring the writers into our world of chaos. Most movie and TV writers knew nothing of real hospital medicine and were taken aback by the controlled disorder and gore of the emergency department and my world of science and human suffering. I had been told by one of the producers that my visitor for that shift was going to be Mark Leyner.

A quick Google search revealed that he had published many novels, one of which was called My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist. That night, I was at the bedside of a patient, assisting a resident in the placement of a nasogastric tube, when the nurse told me that there was someone to see me. I took off my gloves, pulled back the curtain, and there was Leyner. Nothing in my medical career could have prepared me for the character I was about to meet.

He had the heavily muscled torso of a Bulgarian weight lifter and the weepy histrionic temperament of a teenage girl. He was babbling to no one in particular as he scarfed down fistfuls of Skittles from a paper bag. He was a medical autodidact with an astonishingly bizarre and encyclopedic store of arcane medical knowledge. Within five minutes Leyner had regaled me with the precise pharmacokinetics of jimsonweed, a Fijian folk remedy for cannibal indigestion, the history of turf toe and crotch rot, and the inexplicable prevalence of supernumerary testicles in Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania.

I knew it was going to be an interesting night. He was wildly agitated and a dozen burly New York City EMS personnel and cops were barely able to keep him restrained on a stretcher. Mark and I hurried over to see him wide-eyed and ranting psychotically. Get me Jimmy Olsen. I am faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive.

The night continued to be a strange mix of the bizarre and touching, and I left my shift feeling that this strange little man would somehow have a profound effect on my life. Most kids begged their parents for trips to Disney World. I did seriously consider becoming a doctor, until I went to Brandeis, that is. There I saw firsthand the future doctors of America. Bunch of whining, ass-kissing, unscrupulous, morbidly neurotic premed students.

It turned out to be a glorious night. Billy was not the simultaneously insipid and officious physician I expected at all. The night was a revelation. What I saw that evening was amazing—a Chinese chef hit in his head with a meat cleaver, a Russian guy who came in with his ear in a bag of ice after his Rottweiler bit it off, and of course Superman. There was an immediate genuine connection between Billy and me, and there was something deeply compelling about the way he responded to the human needs of the people he treated in that chaotic and bizarre environment.

I was introduced to some of the other writers whom I had not met and sat briefly in their lavishly decorated and organized offices to answer the mundane medical questions from their respective scripts.

My next stop was Leyner, and when I entered his office, it was like entering a tomb. The room was almost devoid of decoration and furniture, and it had a monastic feel. Leyner was lying on his stomach typing rapidly on the keyboard of his laptop. Although critically acclaimed,Wonderland was canceled after three episodes. Leyner and I continued our strong friendship. We decided a collaboration was in order and pitched several TV pilot ideas together. Working with Leyner brought me back to my long-standing idea for a book of cocktail party medicine questions.

Leyner greeted my invitation to work on this book enthusiastically. I thought he was ready to share the burden of this project, and what you are about to read is the result of all our, well, no actually, all my hard work. Why does your pee smell when you eat asparagus? Does sugar really make kids hyperactive? What causes an ice cream headache?

Does eating chocolate cause acne? Why do you cry when you cut onions? Do cucumbers relieve puffy eyes? Why are you served juice and cookies after you donate blood?

Why do women crave chocolate during their periods? Why do you get bloated when you eat salty food? What is a food coma? Why are you hungry an hour after eating Chinese food? What is MSG, and does it cause headaches? Can carrots help improve your vision? Does coffee stunt your growth? Why does skipping your morning coffee cause a headache?

Why does spicy food make your nose run? Does spicy food cause ulcers? Does artificial sweetener cause headaches? Does licorice cause high blood pressure? What causes morning breath? Why are yawns contagious? Can you lose a contact lens in the back of your head? Can you lose a tampon inside your body if the string comes off? Is it true that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the body relative to its size? Why do your teeth chatter when you are cold? Why do you have an appendix if you can live without it?

Are canker sores contagious? What are goose bumps? What really is happening when my foot falls asleep? Why do you get bags under your eyes when you are tired? Why do you laugh when tickled? Why does sweat stink and stain? What is snot? What are eye boogers? What are those little half moons in your nails? Or fattening? Can you get pregnant while you are having your period? Do oysters really make you horny? Why do men wake up in the morning with an erection?

Can people in wheelchairs still have sex? Is it true that you can break your penis? Does masturbation cause stuttering, blindness, or hairy palms? Does using a tampon for the first time make you lose your virginity? Why do nipples become erect?

What causes shrinkage? Does circumcision lessen the fun of sex? Does the kind of underpants men wear affect their fertility? Is there really a G-spot? Do Kegel exercises really work? Can hot tubs make you infertile? Do men need sex more often than women? Can a man ever run out of sperm? Are there any specific things that affect the scent of a woman?

Can a woman ejaculate? What is a hickey? Can you take the tetracycline meant for fish tanks? Does cranberry juice cure urinary tract infections? Does candle flame remove earwax? Is it smart to put butter on a burn? Does melatonin work for jet lag? Should you put a steak on a black eye? Will toothpaste get rid of zits? Is it dangerous to pop zits? Does urinating on a jellyfish sting stop the burn? Why is it bad to insert cotton swabs in your ears? Is it dangerous to perform colonic irrigation on yourself?

Does breast milk cure warts? If you get bitten by a snake, should you suck out the venom? What are hiccups, and how do you get rid of them? Does bathing in tomato juice remove the smell of a skunk? Does eating fresh parsley cure bad breath?

Does warm milk really help you sleep? Can poppy seeds make you test positive for heroin? Why do you get the munchies when you are stoned? Can a hair sample be used in a drug test? Will a shot of bourbon cure a cold? Does putting someone in a shower or giving him or her coffee stop a drug overdose?

Why do you throw up when you drink too much? Does taking ecstasy cause you to lose your memory? Does drinking kill brain cells? Why does the bed spin after a long night at the bar? Why do you snore so loud when you are drunk? Is red wine really good for your health? Does marijuana help glaucoma? Should you drink brandy when you have frostbite?

Can you get high from licking a toad? Why do people seem more attractive to you when you are drunk? Why can you ignite a fart? Is it more sanitary to be spit on or peed on? Why do beans give you gas? Would you die if you ate your own feces? Will you get hemorrhoids from sitting on the toilet too long?

Why does poo float? Why is poo brown? If you are stranded on a desert island, should you drink seawater or your own urine? Can you catch diseases from a toilet seat? Why do I have to go to the bathroom immediately after a cup of coffee? Why do cigarettes have a laxative effect? Why do you have to pee when you hear water dripping? Is it dangerous to hold it when you have to pee? What causes the rumbling in your stomach when you have to go?

Does the kind of amnesia you see in the movies really exist? What would happen if you stuck someone in the heart with a needle as in Pulp Fiction? Why does everyone in the movies go into shock? Can people really wake up after being in a coma for years? Do you really need to remove a bullet right away like they do in old Westerns?

Is there really a medication that acts like a truth serum? What is on the rags that villains use to make their victims pass out? Can you die from choking on your own vomit, like the drummer in Spinal Tap? Do people really have multiple personalities, like in Sybil? Can you get scared to death? Does hysterical blindness really exist? What would really happen if a junior mint fell inside someone during surgery, as in the infamousSeinfeld episode? Is it dangerous to eat another human being?

How many times can you be shot and still survive? Is there such a thing as a werewolf? Can you really explode from eating too much? Do people ever have webbed hands and feet like the Man from Atlantis?

Why do you see stars when you are hit in the head? Will staring at an eclipse make you go blind? Should you starve a fever and feed a cold? Does wet or cold weather cause a cold? Can you die from chasing Pop Rocks with Coke? Can lip balm be addictive? Is it true that left-handed people are smarter than right-handed people?

Will sleeping in front of a fan or an open window cause a stiff neck? Do microwaves cause cancer? Will using a cell phone give you a brain tumor? Will a plate in your head set off a metal detector in the airport? Is it dangerous to hold in a sneeze? Can you swallow your tongue? Why does hair turn gray? Why do you shrink as you get older?

Why do old ladies grow beards? Do your ears continue to grow after the rest of your body stops growing? Why do you need less sleep when you get older?

Do your nails or hair grow after you die? What are age spots? Is life span determined strictly by genetics? Can taking vitamin C help you live longer? Is there such a thing as male menopause? Why are older people such bad drivers? Is there really a wrinkle cure? Mark: I want to thank my wonderful and wise friend Billy Goldberg, who did virtuallyall of the work on this book and still happily let them put my name on the cover next to his.

He has written scripts for a variety of films and television shows. He is also a writer and artist whose paintings have been exhibited in New York City. We brought a bottle of Don Julio tequila, which Leyner sampled voraciously in the cab, insisting that it needed to be screened for industrial toxins. We enter the elegantly appointed Park Avenue home of Eloise Cameron, a philanthropist, patron of the arts, and Botox junkie.

Kissing those lips is like making out with the Michelin man. I corral Leyner and we proceed into the living room. Jeremy is well known to the Madison Square Garden food vendors for his insatiable appetite for hot dogs, cotton candy, and beer. He is now almost unrecognizable in his new Atkins-induced skeletonlike state. I am overcome by embarrassment but secretly wetting myself with laughter. I am left with Jeremy and his insufferable stories about life on the meat-and-fat diet, and a million medical questions about food.

If we are what we eat, why do we know so little about food and nutrition? What is it with seven years? You break a mirror, seven years of bad luck. Each dog year is seven human years. Seven years to digest swallowed gum? What if a dog broke a mirror then swallowed a pack of gum?

Gum actually might help things move through the bowels faster. Sorbitol is sometimes used as a sweetener in gum and this can act as a laxative. What does this mean? Yes, if you look carefully, you should see it floating next to all of those lovely yellow corn kernels.

Asparagus contains a sulfur compound called mercaptan. It is also found in onions, garlic, rotten eggs, and in the secretions of skunks. The signature smell occurs when this substance is broken down in your digestive system. Not all people have the gene for the enzyme that breaks down mercaptan, so some of you can eat all the asparagus you want without stinking up the place. One study published in theBritish Journal of Clinical Pharmacology found that only 46 percent of British people tested produced the odor while percent of French people tested did.

Leyner, sir???? Leyner:Sir, reporting for duty, sir! Gberg:You ready for a little work, son? Leyner:Sir, permission to discharge my weapon into the sky, sir? Leyner:What should we do today? Leyner:I have an idea. Gberg:We have several things to do. Finish the preface, which we need to do together. Then we have 2 more intros. Gberg:Or else we can add some funniness to some questions.

Gberg:You had an idea? I think it works better with pacing. Gberg:We need to add something to this mother. Gberg:Some sidebars. Gberg:Okay, so we need to add some expert medical commentary. By the way, do you think if we keep mentioning Propel, that delicious vitamin-enhanced beverage from the makers of Gatorade, we can get some free stuff?

Gberg:Only 20 calories per bottle. Sweet candy water!!! Where are you? Leyner:OK, Pops. Gberg:Should we add some French jokes? Gberg:Bunch of puritans! Well, the company is correct. It is more likely that kids tend to eat sugary foods at times when they would be excited and rambunctious anyway parties, holidays, movies, weddings, funerals. Aaaah, the joy of a Popsicle on a hot summer day.

One theory places the source for the brain freeze in the sinuses, where the pain may be caused by the rapid cooling of air in the frontal sinuses. This triggers local pain receptors. Another theory postulates that the constriction of blood vessels in the roof and rear of the mouth causes pain receptors to overload and refer the pain to your head. There is a nerve center there, in the back of your mouth, called the sphenopalatine ganglion, and this is the most likely source of the dreaded ice cream headache.

A friend of ours suggested a quick cure of rapidly rubbing your tongue on the roof of your mouth to warm it up. Her demonstration included a bizarre clucking sound.

Leyner tried this and found himself followed by a large goose of whom he seems to have become inordinately fond. For those of you who use chocolate as a substitute for sex, you can breathe a sigh of relief. There is no evidence that acne is caused by chocolate. Acne is connected more to changing hormones than to food choices. Links have also been made between stress and acne. Recently, a group of dermatologists set out to prove that this common belief was also a myth but they found the reverse.

Their study of twenty-two college students found that emotional stress was directly linked to acne severity. But back to the chocolate issue, the University of Pennsylvania and the U.

Naval Academy both demonstrated that chocolate does not cause acne. Results of the experiment showed no significant difference in acne in either group. Cutting an onion releases an enzyme called lachrymatory-factor synthase. This starts the process that leads to tears. This enzyme then reacts with amino acids of the onion and the amino acids are converted to sulfenic acids. The sulfenic acids spontaneously rearrange to form syn-propanethial- S-oxide, which is released into the air.

When this chemical reaches the eyes, it triggers the tears by contacting nerve fibers on the cornea that activate the tear glands. Now you are crying. But there may be some hope on the way. In the meantime there are several solutions to try to avoid the problem of onion-induced tears.

Heating onions before chopping, cutting under a steady stream of water, or wearing goggles. The most reliable: ordering takeout. A well-placed cucumber may feel wonderful, but there is no special ingredient in it that reduces swelling under the eyes.

Cucumbers are 90 percent water, and it is the cooling effect of the water that constricts the blood vessels around the eyes, therefore decreasing the swelling.

The colder the cuke the better. Some other swollen-eye solutions include black tea bags in cold water, the tannic acid content being the key to reducing swelling.

There is no solid medical reason for juice and cookies after blood donation. The idea is that this little snack will help to replenish your fluids and raise your blood sugar.

The best use of this snack is to allow you to rest and adjust before you go on your way after doing your civic duty. Perhaps other food combinations could attract more blood donors: 1.

For the upper-crust crowd: champagne and foie gras. For the hipster: Vitamin Water and a PowerBar. For the Atkins crowd: diet soda and a steak. For the hip-hop gangster: a forty and some fried wings.

There is little scientific support for a link between food cravings and the menstrual cycle. There have been suggestions that chocolate cravings during menstruation are related to a deficiency of magnesium or are linked to carbohydrate consumption to self-medicate depression, but no strong evidence has been found to prove either one.

Studies have placed volunteers on liquid diets that provided plenty of calories and all the essential vitamins and minerals needed, and participants still craved certain foods. This suggests that nutritional deficits are not necessary for cravings of any kind and that these desires are more psychologically based. Pica is the medical term for a pattern of eating non-nutritive substances such as dirt, clay, paint chips, etc.

The name comes from the Latin word for magpie, a bird known for its large and indiscriminate appetite. Iron deficiency can cause pica and can also cause a craving for ice, referred to as pagophagia. Her tomato cravings disappeared when her anemia was treated.

This is a common question that is most often asked by women who feel bloated because of PMS and believe that it is related to the amount of salt they eat. We both have learned over the years that you should never upset a woman if she is having premenstrual symptoms, so we went back to the medical school textbooks on this one to get the answer right.

Water accounts for 45 to 50 percent of the body weight in adult females and 55 to 60 percent of the body weight in adult males. Approximately 50 percent of this water is in muscle, 20 percent in the skin, 10 percent in the blood, and the remaining 20 percent in the other organs.

In other words, the amount of a substance added to the body each day is equal to the amount eliminated or used by the body.

This is called the balance state or the steady state. Maybe your pants are just too tight because you ate all that chocolate as a substitute for sex. We are sitting at i Trulli, a top New York City Italian restaurant, and I have already unbuttoned my pants as I try to gather strength for dessert.

I glance to my left and my sister-in-law has eaten herself to sleep. After taking several pictures to add this event to family lore, I was again asked about the cause of the dreaded food coma.

Turkey is blamed for this soporific effect, specifically the amount of L-tryptophan contained in turkey. L-tryptophan is an essential amino acid and is a precursor of serotonin. L-tryptophan is naturally found in turkey protein but is actually present in many plants and animals, including chicken and cows. The average serving of turkey about grams or 3. Two other factors that contribute to the desire to sleep at the dinner table are meal composition and increased blood flow to the gastrointestinal tract.

Studies have shown that a solid-food meal resulted in faster fatigue onset than a liquid diet. The solid-food meal also causes a variety of substances to jump into action that ultimately leads to increased blood flow to the abdomen. A good double espresso can sometimes be enough of a pick-me-up to get through dessert. But, in an attempt to resuscitate her comatose sister, my wife took her to the bathroom to splash water on her face and press her belly against the cold bathroom tiles.

Unfortunately, time is the only true cure for the food coma. We fear that getting into any diet debate will cause us to be besieged by a gaggle of Atkins followers in a bacon-induced frenzy.

But we may be safe this time, because the culprit may be carbohydrates—specifically, rice and pasta. Chinese meals, for the most part, contain rice, little meat, and plenty of low- calorie vegetables.

The rice and noodle dishes like fried rice and lo mein contain carbohydrates that cause the blood sugar to peak and then plummet, causing hunger. MSG is the sodium salt of the amino acid glutamic acid and a form of glutamate. Glutamate is a naturally occurring amino acid that is found in nearly all foods, especially those high in protein. Monosodium glutamate MSG is used as a flavor enhancer in a variety of foods prepared at home, in restaurants, and by manufacturers of processed food.

It is not fully understood how it adds flavor to other foods, but many scientists believe that MSG stimulates glutamate receptors in the tongue to augment flavors. However, there is general agreement in the scientific community, based on numerous biochemical, toxicological, and medical studies over the last twenty years, that MSG is safe for the general population.

The Roman emperor Caligula believed that carrots had the properties of an aphrodisiac, making men more potent and women more submissive. He is said to have fed the entire Roman Senate a banquet of only carrots so that he could watch the senators fornicate like wild beasts.

This has nothing to do with eyesight, but it is quite a tale. The carrot myth dates back to World War II when the British Royal Air Force was attempting to hide the fact that it had developed a sophisticated airborne radar system to shoot down German bombers. They bragged that the great accuracy of British fighter pilots at night was a result of them being fed enormous quantities of carrots.

It is true that carrots are rich in beta-carotene, which is essential for sight. The body converts beta-carotene to vitamin A, and extreme vitamin A deficiency can cause blindness. However, only a small amount of beta- carotene is necessary for good vision. You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar. Reprints and Permissions. Lawrence, E. Why do men have nipples?.

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